Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
less than 24 hours!!!
i think i'm going to pee my pants with excitement!!!
how am i ever going to get to sleep tonight? well, if i don't, i'm sure christopher won't mind a nap when he gets in, as i'm sure the plane ride will wear him out (at least that's how it is with me anyway)...
*jumps around*
how am i ever going to get to sleep tonight? well, if i don't, i'm sure christopher won't mind a nap when he gets in, as i'm sure the plane ride will wear him out (at least that's how it is with me anyway)...
*jumps around*
Thursday, May 18, 2006
by the way...
christopher will be here in two days!!! i'm super super excited... making it through a whole day at work tomorrow is going to be torture... hehe...
yaaaaaahhoooooooo!!!!
yaaaaaahhoooooooo!!!!
why does society...
make women feel like they need the approval of men to be worth something? i realize that times are changing, and it's not so much like this anymore... but growing up, i remember my mom trying so hard to please my dad and make him happy just so she would feel like she was doing a good job as a wife... and i have fallen into the same trap (not so much with christopher, though, i do catch myself doing that sometimes... but mostly with my dad)... all my life, i've done everything i can to make him happy, to make him proud of me... and when he acts like he doesn't care, or is disappointed, i'm crushed... and this past weekend was more of the same...
it's no secret that my dad and i haven't spoken in over a year and a half... and with a possible background investigation coming up for me, i thought i'd at least try to be cordial and polite, and maybe that would start the smoothing things over... but no... my dad acted like i didn't even exist... i spoke to him while i was at my grandma's, and he barely forced a grunt at me... and two days later, at my grandma's again, i said "hello", and stood in the same room with him for 20 minutes and he wouldn't even look at me... i left my grandma's feeling like i had done something wrong as a daughter to make my dad act that way...
he has changed a lot since the divorce, and even more just in the past year... he's gone back to drinking, and smoking dope... and being a total ass to everyone... and for some reason, i can't stop blaming myself for it... i think, "maybe, just maybe, if i had been a better daughter to him, and not stood up for my mom, then he wouldn't be like he is now" and what's worse is that my youngest brother blames me too...
on my drive back to DC on sunday, i told myself that i made two attempts to start putting things back together with my dad, and he pushed me away both times... and that i was no longer going to feel guilty, or at fault for his actions... but telling myself to do something, and following through are two different things...
i have a picture of me and my dad from when i was about 3 years old... it is my favorite picture of the two of us... we're both smiling, and happy... and there's even a twinkle in my dad's eye... i don't think it will ever be like that again for us... and now the question is, do i really want it to be that way again? maybe things will change... and maybe they won't... i guess i'll just have to wait and see...
it's no secret that my dad and i haven't spoken in over a year and a half... and with a possible background investigation coming up for me, i thought i'd at least try to be cordial and polite, and maybe that would start the smoothing things over... but no... my dad acted like i didn't even exist... i spoke to him while i was at my grandma's, and he barely forced a grunt at me... and two days later, at my grandma's again, i said "hello", and stood in the same room with him for 20 minutes and he wouldn't even look at me... i left my grandma's feeling like i had done something wrong as a daughter to make my dad act that way...
he has changed a lot since the divorce, and even more just in the past year... he's gone back to drinking, and smoking dope... and being a total ass to everyone... and for some reason, i can't stop blaming myself for it... i think, "maybe, just maybe, if i had been a better daughter to him, and not stood up for my mom, then he wouldn't be like he is now" and what's worse is that my youngest brother blames me too...
on my drive back to DC on sunday, i told myself that i made two attempts to start putting things back together with my dad, and he pushed me away both times... and that i was no longer going to feel guilty, or at fault for his actions... but telling myself to do something, and following through are two different things...
i have a picture of me and my dad from when i was about 3 years old... it is my favorite picture of the two of us... we're both smiling, and happy... and there's even a twinkle in my dad's eye... i don't think it will ever be like that again for us... and now the question is, do i really want it to be that way again? maybe things will change... and maybe they won't... i guess i'll just have to wait and see...
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
on the job front
i have more info about the previously mentioned job offer... the major piece of info being that even if everything goes well with the whole hiring process, it will still be 4-6 months before i would begin working there... and, if there's any glitch with anything, it could take up to 18 months! hopefully, things will go smoothly, and i'll be at my new job sometime in the fall...
so, now that the walk is over, i've still been walking daily just for some exercise... but i've decided to kick it up a notch and started a Couch-to-5K program this week! while i can walk for miles and miles at a time, i am very horrible when it comes to jogging... sadly, i can't even jog a mile without stopping... so, i'm doing something about it! and, hopefully, if i follow the program correctly, i'll be able to run a 5K at the end of 10 weeks... yesterday was my first workout on the program, and i didn't die!!! and i'm looking forward to the workout tonight!!!
and in other news... a certain boyfriend of mine is posting to his blog again... most of you, like myself, had probably given up on him ever blogging again... but he's back at it... and if you've forgotten the address, there's a link along the side of my blog that will take you to it...
well, that's all the news i have for now...
so, now that the walk is over, i've still been walking daily just for some exercise... but i've decided to kick it up a notch and started a Couch-to-5K program this week! while i can walk for miles and miles at a time, i am very horrible when it comes to jogging... sadly, i can't even jog a mile without stopping... so, i'm doing something about it! and, hopefully, if i follow the program correctly, i'll be able to run a 5K at the end of 10 weeks... yesterday was my first workout on the program, and i didn't die!!! and i'm looking forward to the workout tonight!!!
and in other news... a certain boyfriend of mine is posting to his blog again... most of you, like myself, had probably given up on him ever blogging again... but he's back at it... and if you've forgotten the address, there's a link along the side of my blog that will take you to it...
well, that's all the news i have for now...
Monday, May 08, 2006
The Walk...
The day before the walk, I made my way downtown to the Event Eve Hotel. On the way there, I noticed a couple of women looking a little lost, and heard them mention the AWBC. I offered to show them the way, since I was going there as well. They took me up on my offer, but when I tried to be friendly and talk to them about the Walk they would either turn away, or start talking to each other. Quite rude for people who needed help, if you ask me.
Anyway, I got signed in, and settled in to my hotel room for the night. Let me tell you, the Revive Bedding Collection at Marriott hotels are AMAZING! One day I will be rich and have a bed like that.
The morning of the first day started super early. I was at the Kennedy Center (Opening Ceremony site) by 5:00 am. It was still dark out, and you could see some of the monuments and memorials on the National Mall. They were all light up, and were actually quite breath-taking. As I walked around the site, I tried to get to know people, so that I would have someone to walk with. Well, once again, the rudeness astounded me. And unfortunately, I found that to be the case all along the trail. People who were walking as pairs, or groups of 4 or more weren’t really willing to talk to anyone else. Luckily, I found some loners, like myself, and a couple of groups of 3 that were friendly.
We started the morning shortly before 7:00 am with some stretches and some inspirational words. And then we were off. The gates opened and a sea of pink flowed out into the streets of DC. The first 3 or 4 miles, I walked with a lady from Germantown (Pat). But eventually, she got too fast for me, and I lost her. Soon after, I met up with a gal from Ocean City, MD (Meredith), and we walked together for the rest of the day.
The stops along the route were pretty frequent. They had snacks, Gatorade and water, and medical tents. Each pit stop had a different theme – I wish I could remember all of them, I should have written them down. Also along the route were tons of supporters. Several groups would move along the route all day to cheer us on. And people in cars decorated with lots of pink would drive by and wave. That was one of my favorite parts.
I made it 17 miles the first day before the medical team strongly suggested I quit for the day because of the condition of my blisters. Stupid feet – I wish I had Mrs. Potato Head feet and could just switch them out when I need new ones. But I am glad they made me stop, because if I had pushed on any further, I may not have been able to walk at all the second day.
When I arrived at the Wellness Village, I found my tent already set up, and my tent-mate (Ann) inside. She was from Hawaii, and flew to DC to do the Walk with her friends from Arlington. After I showered, I hit the medical tent to be rebandaged and then I had visitors. A couple of coworkers had come out to show their support. That was nice. Good to see a familiar face after an exhausting day.
There was some entertainment that night, but I chose to sleep instead. Unfortunately, nature was not agreeing with my plan, and made it super cold. I think I only got about 3 hours sleep total that night. It was rough – but at least everyone else had the same problem, so we were all understanding when everyone was grumpy the next morning.
Day 2 didn’t start as early as the previous day. I got up, ate breakfast, broke down the tent, and was on the trail around 8:00am. My walking buddy from the day before got an earlier start, so I had a chance to meet more people along the route.
I talked to a couple of people, but my feet were so sore, I was too slow for most. By the 5th mile I was ready to give up. But I rebandaged again, and Vaselined my feet like crazy and trudged on. It took me over an hour to make it to the 7th mile, so I decided I needed a lift to the next pit stop. At that stop, I met up with Meredith and her tent-mate Barbara, and we pushed out the final 3.5 miles in about an hour. Knowing that the finish line was “just around the corner” made us really move.
We arrived at the finish line 1.5 hours before the closing ceremony was to begin. There was no place to sit out of the sun, and we were so very tired. I decided it was best for me just to head home. I do hate that I missed the closing ceremony, but after walking 28 miles, my body just wanted my bed.
The Walk was a great experience, but it will be years before I do it again. The time it took just preparing (fundraising and training) was tremendous. And it certainly is nice to have my weekends back.
Anyway, I got signed in, and settled in to my hotel room for the night. Let me tell you, the Revive Bedding Collection at Marriott hotels are AMAZING! One day I will be rich and have a bed like that.
The morning of the first day started super early. I was at the Kennedy Center (Opening Ceremony site) by 5:00 am. It was still dark out, and you could see some of the monuments and memorials on the National Mall. They were all light up, and were actually quite breath-taking. As I walked around the site, I tried to get to know people, so that I would have someone to walk with. Well, once again, the rudeness astounded me. And unfortunately, I found that to be the case all along the trail. People who were walking as pairs, or groups of 4 or more weren’t really willing to talk to anyone else. Luckily, I found some loners, like myself, and a couple of groups of 3 that were friendly.
We started the morning shortly before 7:00 am with some stretches and some inspirational words. And then we were off. The gates opened and a sea of pink flowed out into the streets of DC. The first 3 or 4 miles, I walked with a lady from Germantown (Pat). But eventually, she got too fast for me, and I lost her. Soon after, I met up with a gal from Ocean City, MD (Meredith), and we walked together for the rest of the day.
The stops along the route were pretty frequent. They had snacks, Gatorade and water, and medical tents. Each pit stop had a different theme – I wish I could remember all of them, I should have written them down. Also along the route were tons of supporters. Several groups would move along the route all day to cheer us on. And people in cars decorated with lots of pink would drive by and wave. That was one of my favorite parts.
I made it 17 miles the first day before the medical team strongly suggested I quit for the day because of the condition of my blisters. Stupid feet – I wish I had Mrs. Potato Head feet and could just switch them out when I need new ones. But I am glad they made me stop, because if I had pushed on any further, I may not have been able to walk at all the second day.
When I arrived at the Wellness Village, I found my tent already set up, and my tent-mate (Ann) inside. She was from Hawaii, and flew to DC to do the Walk with her friends from Arlington. After I showered, I hit the medical tent to be rebandaged and then I had visitors. A couple of coworkers had come out to show their support. That was nice. Good to see a familiar face after an exhausting day.
There was some entertainment that night, but I chose to sleep instead. Unfortunately, nature was not agreeing with my plan, and made it super cold. I think I only got about 3 hours sleep total that night. It was rough – but at least everyone else had the same problem, so we were all understanding when everyone was grumpy the next morning.
Day 2 didn’t start as early as the previous day. I got up, ate breakfast, broke down the tent, and was on the trail around 8:00am. My walking buddy from the day before got an earlier start, so I had a chance to meet more people along the route.
I talked to a couple of people, but my feet were so sore, I was too slow for most. By the 5th mile I was ready to give up. But I rebandaged again, and Vaselined my feet like crazy and trudged on. It took me over an hour to make it to the 7th mile, so I decided I needed a lift to the next pit stop. At that stop, I met up with Meredith and her tent-mate Barbara, and we pushed out the final 3.5 miles in about an hour. Knowing that the finish line was “just around the corner” made us really move.
We arrived at the finish line 1.5 hours before the closing ceremony was to begin. There was no place to sit out of the sun, and we were so very tired. I decided it was best for me just to head home. I do hate that I missed the closing ceremony, but after walking 28 miles, my body just wanted my bed.
The Walk was a great experience, but it will be years before I do it again. The time it took just preparing (fundraising and training) was tremendous. And it certainly is nice to have my weekends back.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
big news!!!
i mean, really big freakin' news!!!
I can't say with whom (security obligations) on a public forum such as this, but... i have been offered a position with a certain company that i submitted a resume to last week! i had a brief phone interview yesterday, and got the phone call today... i'll be getting the official paper offer by the end of the week... i'll then have 2 weeks to think it over and send it back... and then the process starts from there... holy crap... that's all i have to say... this is happening so fast... but i am excited!!!
once i decide whether or not i'm going to accept the offer (which i probably will) i will let you all know what company it is with...
the only drawback: the job isn't in england... *sigh*... i'll get there eventually, babe!
just let me say, i have had one rockin' week!
I can't say with whom (security obligations) on a public forum such as this, but... i have been offered a position with a certain company that i submitted a resume to last week! i had a brief phone interview yesterday, and got the phone call today... i'll be getting the official paper offer by the end of the week... i'll then have 2 weeks to think it over and send it back... and then the process starts from there... holy crap... that's all i have to say... this is happening so fast... but i am excited!!!
once i decide whether or not i'm going to accept the offer (which i probably will) i will let you all know what company it is with...
the only drawback: the job isn't in england... *sigh*... i'll get there eventually, babe!
just let me say, i have had one rockin' week!
I lived...
well, i survived the Walk... didn't make it the full 39 miles, but that's okay... the walk itself was pretty good... i was surprised by all the supporters along the route... and also a little disappointed at the rudeness of some people... but, overall, i found it to be a nice experience...
more details to come later... just wanted to let everyone know that i did make it...
more details to come later... just wanted to let everyone know that i did make it...
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